Check your screen time. Go to settings, hit screen-time (for iPhone users) and soak in that number. Ask yourself this question. How do I feel? Maybe you are better than I am, but for myself I do not feel great. How about another question. Whatever number that is for you, in that time what did you hear?

That number struck a nerve. Minutes of my life, never to be recovered, gone in a blink of an eye. How do I feel? Frustrated, behind, anxious, angry, sad. What did I hear? A mumble of words with no real connotation or connection to anything that has any substance. I am just left with a jumble of emotions that I again lock up deep inside. I cannot tell you what I heard, but one message rings loud and clear. I am a slow, unsatisfied mess wasting away while everyone else is miles ahead. Interestingly, when writing this article, my desire to look at my phone is at zero percent. But that is where I find myself, looking at the number before me with nothing substantial. I find myself in this predicament too frequently, my purpose slowly draining away like the battery on my phone yet without a charging station in sight.

With those depressing messages resonating throughout my mind - draining my life away, one percent at a time - it is in this moment I hear the beautiful sound of the Gaeilge language. My attention, 100%. My concentration to what I am hearing at an all-time high. And then I hear the phrase “tá brón orm”. The Irish language Gaeilge sounds beautiful especially in song, but the beauty of sound is not the only captivating aspect of Gaeilge. “Tá brón orm” translates to “sadness is upon me”. That phrase is like a backpack on my shoulders that at any time I can shrug off. Sadness is not who I am, but a weight that is resting on my shoulders. Amazing how powerful language is. This one short phrase, in a language I do not recognize, lifts a load off my shoulders that I have carried for a long time. Because with this one phrase I understand that I am not frustrated. I am not sad, anxious, behind. Those feelings are not who I am but are upon me. And it is in this moment where I understand the power of language.

In English we say, “I am sad” or “I am anxious” and in doing so we tie our identity to sadness or anxiety. Say it enough and our life becomes that living definition. However, the phrase “tá brón orm” – sadness is upon me – correctly places those emotions. Sadness is not our identity. Sadness has fallen on us, and we can take it off just as easily as taking a heavy pack off. Unfortunately, just saying “sadness has fallen on me” or “anxiety is upon me” will not resolve all our troubles. We live in a fallen world, a world in which bad things happen to us, and we must deal with the consequences of our actions or others. When we shift our mindset to understand that our identity is not tied to a feeling, then we do not allow our circumstances to define us. The Apostle Paul knew of the power of language, for in Romans the eighth chapter he would write “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Rom. 8:37). Paul was writing to a group of Christians who were in a daily struggle for their lives, and he wanted them to know their identity was founded in the love of God. They were not cowards or sheep to the slaughter. But they were children of God and if they remained children of God, “nothing would separate [them] from the love of God” (Rom. 8:39).

The Apostle Paul never allowed himself to be defined by his thoughts. Paul would write to Timothy in 1Tim. 1:15, saying that Christ came to save sinners “of whom I am chief”. Paul could easily define himself by his past lifetime but instead he understood that his past did not define him, but chose to be defined by Christ. Paul goes on to say that “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness in which the Lord the righteous Judge will give to me on that day and not to me only but to all who love His appearing” (2Tim.4:7-8). Paul understood language could galvanize the Christians of the 1st Century to remain steadfast in times of trouble. For in knowing their identity, they would be able to weather the storms of life. Just like the Gaeilge language reminded me that my emotions do not define who I am but are something that has fallen on me.

Why is reframing our thoughts so powerful? Because in reframing how we view our emotions we do not allow those emotions to become our identity. When we learn how to reframe our minds, we stop becoming the living definition of whatever our emotions are but become more of who we are created to be, the image bearers of our God. This identity - our identity - provides us with the strength to continue on the path ahead removing the burdens we place on our shoulders.

I am not saying that reframing our minds is as simple as changing how we speak. There is no magical effect saying “sadness has fallen on me” that immediately reshapes our mindset. But if we gradually view sadness, anxiety, anger, and frustration as weights thrust upon our shoulders, then we will be better equipped to handle our emotions. We still must learn how to deal with those emotions. But in taking this first step we have a smaller chance of letting our emotions become our identity. How does this work in the real world? Let me tell you about how I have tried implementing this idea.

For years I have been praying to be a good steward of the blessings I have been given. This past year my wife and I bought our first house from a retired couple who were moving closer to children. The house was immaculate, well taken care of and loved by the previous owners. The yard, pristine! I remember mowing the yard for the first time and understanding that this was what I had prayed for, something to steward. It was exciting, thick green grass all around and all I needed to do was maintain the hard work that had already been done. Fast forward through the winter and into spring. What should have been an exciting time was anything but exciting. Because what had been dormant for months started to slowly return to the lush green I remember, but with the addition of weeds.

Winter weeds sprouted with a vengeance, my futile attempts to reverse my mistakes caused only frustration and disappointment. Slowly I was not a first-time homebuyer, I was a failure. I was frustrated. I was disappointment. Not to my wife or in the eyes of my parents/in-laws. But I was a disappointment to God (in my eyes). I had been given a blessing and squandered an opportunity. But while walking around my yard with my little black bucket and my handy-dandy tool I started to realize that this may be what I truly needed. To sit and pull weeds, to work on getting a schedule, to fertilize and learn to take care of what I had been entrusted with. Not to make myself look good but to do my best as a steward to the praise and glory of God. I began to realize that stewardship isn’t being perfect or having no ups and downs. Stewardship means that I work hard (consistently) to nurture and to learn along the way.

No longer is my identity tied to my faults. I am no longer the living definition of disappointment. But disappointment had “fallen on me” – and I could set it down. That shift in mindset helped me in times when all I see are the weeds growing in my yard and in my mind. That is the power of language. The power of understanding that I was created for something more grand than my thoughts and emotions.

Sadness, anxiety, frustration, or anger does not define you. What defines you is the fact that you are made in the image of the Creator. And you bear the image of the Most High before everyone around you. Your identity is not tied to a momentary feeling or a failure. It is tied to the fact that the God of heaven and earth loves you and sent His only Son, who died and was resurrected to grant you a relationship with the Father and your Saviour. That is who you are, a precious gift!

So the next time you are flooded with emotions – when frustration, sadness, or anxiety come knocking – remember tá brón orm. Reframe your mind, protect your identity, and walk in the truth of who you were created to be: a precious gift!